MAN UP

Tony Porter has a speech on TED named “ A Call to Men”.  In it he discusses how men are taught at a young age to not show emotion, be dominating and to abuse and degrade women.  He told personal stories to relate to the topic. Watching him speak, you could tell he was not making it up, and really had a very strong feeling about the subject.

This made me think. What is it that we as a society are teaching our young boys? Why is it ok for girls to cry and not boys? The answer is in no way simple. From a very young age boys are taught to “man up” and not show emotion. Emotion is looked at as a weakness, and boys aren’t supposed to be weak. As a child how do you know that? The while family is usually intricate in instilling this value.  We inadvertently stop a young boy from crying and make him talk to us like a “man”. When a young girl cries, we embrace her and encourage emotion. How does this affect a young boy witnessing?

Boys grow up thinking women are the weaker of the sexes, and only little girls show emotion. Boys are bullied, tormented and made fun of for showing any type of emotion. They are then compared to girls, and as Tony Porter said it destroys boys.  Being compared to a girl, goes deep down into a boy’s soul and hurts.

We as a society need to remember that what we teach and show boys at a young age, they will remember as men. Being in the “man box” will be more important than doing what is right. Tony Porter told a story that will always stick out in my mind.  A young lady who is mentally ill (which he didn’t know at the time) was lying in bed naked, being taken advantage of men and boys. When Tony was offered the opportunity to have sex with her, he didn’t do it,  but went in the room to act like he was.  He realized that there were boys lined up outside to have their way with her. Instead of being a MAN and standing up for himself, he fit right into the man box and did what he thought he was supposed to, he said “it was good” and left.

We MUST teach our children the difference between RIGHT and WRONG and stop focusing so much on losing manhood for doing what is right.  Listening to this speech was a great decision. He was very passionate and made you want to listen.

My question to men is simple…Will you MAN UP and teach children the RIGHT way, or keep teaching boys they have to fit into a “man box”???